Here's a Letter for You
by destructoxgirl
Summary: Fox and Theresa overcome a series of obstacles through a course of letters. THEROX, R&R.
1. Theresa

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**Here's a Letter for You**

Prologue

_Fox,_

_You grabbed her._

_And then you kissed her._

_And instantly, I knew nothing in my world would ever be right again. _

_I could only watch through the window my hospital bed; I could only sit in silence as my heart shattered into a million pieces._

_You'll never know how much I regret the way we ended, never know how much it breaks my heart to look into your eyes and not see my reflection, but hers. I wish I could take back all these lonely days that I've sat here and dreamt of you. I've cried so many tears that my eyes burn as if they are on fire. I watched you kiss her and I burned up._

_I can never understand why Fox. I just want to see you happy but will you truly find happiness with Whitney? I don't think so. I will never understand how oblivious you are! There's a perfect girl sitting right in front of your face, yet you look through me like I'm nobody. You only have eyes for her; no matter how many times she berates you, harms you, no matter how many times she breaks your heart, you just keep running back. Yet, the one that would full-fill your needs in every way possible is right here, waiting for you and you wouldn't have to look any further. I guess its true how they say, "The obvious is always what you can't see. "_

_Before you came into my life, I never knew what it was like to look at someone and just smile for no reason at all. I may have cried a million times since we haven't been together, but all the times you made me smile is what will remain in my heart forever. And finally, I know that the human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand. Listen to your heart, not your head. My head is telling me to let go of you, because you let go of me long ago but my heart just cannot suffer another blow. I think letting go of my love for you will kill me. Please forgive me, Fox._

_**I'd rather be dead than without you.**_

_Somebody once said, ' You never forget your first love. That's what makes it so special. You love so hard, so deeply, and so intensely because you don't know any different. It's the best until it is over. Then you hurt like you've never been hurt before. Eventually you love again, but you love differently. You love more carefully, more cautiously. ' _

_I loved Ethan with every fiber of my being and after it ended, I never thought that anyone would ever make me love again. I felt so empty.. and then you came and everything was alright again. Your arms were my solace for those barren days that I thought I could never recover and I will never forget that feeling of security, nor will I ever forget how just one look could make me burn for you. In the end, I loved you and cherished you far more than I ever did Ethan but by the time I was ready to accept it, you weren't mine to cherish anymore. Without you, I have nothing. _

_And I looked to you just to find my existence and to open my eyes__. __I can't breath as you push me aside and no__w I feel that it's time to die as I realize__ just __how you could let me believe in a lie. Believe in something that you never believed yourself. I can't keep on struggling with myself just to breath, I can't keep clawing just to remain above the surface. Everything I've ever done, everyone I've ever known, every word I've ever spoken and every name I was ever called is devouring me. After all of this and watching you love my best friend, there would be nothing left. I'd rather die of my own accord than allow circumstance to beat me._

_So this is farewell, forever._

_Please take care of Ethan Martin._

_I love you._

_Theresa. _


	2. Pain and Pills

_I wanted you to know,_

_That I love the way you laugh._

_I wanna hold you high_

_And steal your pain away._

Fox poised his fist over the mahogony colored door to the Lopez-Fitzgerald residance and listened, hearing the depressed, melodic tunes escaping from under the door frame. Fox narrowed his eyes and leaned over the banister of the porch, attempting to peer into the window and into the house.

The interior was cloaked in a heavy darkness, shrouding ever nook and cranny in a inky blackness. The only apparent light was a small sliver of flickering candelight radiating from under the bathroom door. Fox knocked and then tried the door handle, smiling softly as the door creaked open. He shut it behind him and ventured further into the darkness, his hands held out in front of him, groping around so he wouldn't bump into anything and break something that meant a lot to the family. Fox didn't want to do anything to cause any more pain to the family, considering his family had already taken so much from them.

Finally, his large hands clasped around the outline of a lamp. He felt around on it for a moment before taking the lightswitch in between his fingertips and turning it, thankfully for even the tiny amount of light the dim lamp gave off. He waited a moment, allowing his eyes to adjust to the sudden light. His eyes roamed over the many pictures of young Theresa and her family and he frowned, inwardly wishing for the same type of pictures as Theresa had to remember her warm, loving childhood. Fox pursed his lips in a grim line and shook away all these bitter thoughts, focusing on the pictures of Theresa and her brothers.

_I keep your photograph_

_I know it serves me well._

_I wanna hold you high_

_And steal your pain away. _

Fox tore his eyes away from the beautiful face of his best friend and surveyed the coffee table, taking in the sight of a crisp white envelope with his name scrawled across the middle in black ink. The handwriting was undeniably Theresa's. Fox bent low to retrieve the envelope and was shocked to find his fingertips trembling as he fumbled with it. Quickly, he ripped the top of the enevelope open and retrieved the folder paper that was inside. His hands unfolded it, although he didn't remember requesting his mind to do soo. It was if he wasn't in control anymore, he was just going through the motions... watching from the outside as somebody who was in his body intruded upon Theresa's home.

_Because I'm broken,_

_When I'm lonesome._

_And I don't feel right_

_When you're gone away. _

Fox read the words that Theresa had filled the paper with carefully, taken each syllabell to heart. He found himself utterly speechless by her revelations. His mouth was moving as he fumbled to find his voice but It appeared to be out of order. As her intentions dawned on her, a soft whimper invaded his ears from the direction of the bathroom. Fox became alert suddenly, back in the driver's seat. He swept towards the door and knocked frantically. Suddenly, this situation was all to real for him. The pain and panic pumping hard in his chest made him breathless with a rigid fear that was numbling his legs and making it harder and harder for him to do what he knew he needed to do.

**"Theresa! It's Fox! Are you okay? "**

_You're gone away._

_You don't feel me..._

_Anymore. _

Another whimper, this time less vibrant. Her voice was wanning, slowly fading. Fox had a horrible vision of her lifeless body floating face down in a bathtub filled with tainted crimson water. Panic built in his chest, his heart pounding like a jackhammer. He pounded hard against the door, his fists an extension of his panicked state.

**"Theresa! Open the door! "**Fox shouted, voice loud and frantic. Another whimper, accompanied by a bitter, gurgling giggle. Fox swallowed hard and continued to beat on the door with his increasingly black and blue fists. She giggled again, in some sick and twisted way amused by his building panic.

"**There are places and moments in which one is so completely alone that one sees the world entire. "She yelled at him, her voice loud and rasping for the wear of her unknown injuries. **

_The worst is over now_

_And we can breath again._

_I wanna hold you high and_

_steal my pain away. _

**"GOD DAMNIT THERESA. "**Fox bellowed at her. **"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR. "**

Suddenly, there was a loud moan. A change from the fragile whimpers of before. This moan was labored and tortured, an obvious sign that Theresa was in pain. She screamed and a loud crash was heard, the breaking of glass and the sound of limbs falling desperatley to the lineolum floor.

_There's so much left to learn_

_And nowhere left to find._

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.. [/I]_

Fox felt his entire body become sick but he knew he had to remain in control of the situation. He backed up, sized the bathroom door up and then launched himself at it, breaking the lock with the labor of his weight. He stood in the doorway, eyes fixated of the bloodied, hunch form of Theresa, lying face down and motionless in a puddle of broken glass and scarlett fluid. Fox swallowed hard, feeling his throat tighten and contstrict, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

_Because I'm broken,_

_When I'm open.._

_And I don't feel like_

_When I am strong enough. _

Fox felt his entire world come crashing down around him as he stared as his broken best friend lying on the bathroom floor. At that moment, he knew nothing in his life would ever be the same again. He felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, he knew that the guilt for Theresa's fragile mental state and her suicide rested solely on his shoulders. He dropped to his knee's, ignoring the twinge of pain as they scrapped against the broken glass. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he reached for Theresa and cradled her apparently lifeless head in her hands, caressing her neck and then crying out in dispair as he did not feel the beating of a pulse point beneath her beautiful honey colored skin.

_Because I'm broken,_

_When I'm lonesome._

_And I don't feel right_

_When you're gone away. _


	3. Fox

Dear Theresa,

The reality of the past few days is just beginning to settle with me. I feel like everything that has occurred in the past few days has just been a dream, a nightmare that I just want to escape from. Lord knows, I only wish that were true.

The doctor's tell me that they don't know if you'll ever recover. The pills you took caused massive, irreperable damage and internal damage so great that at this time it's impossible to stop it. You are slowly dying, drowning from the inside ou and I can't do anything about it. I'm watching your life fade away from you and I know that if you lose this battle there will never be another. You will die and I will lose the only thing in my life that ever meant anything to me.

So, I'm sitting here in a chair beside your hospital bed, writing you a letter you might never get to see. And even though it may be too late, I feel that I owe you an explanation.

My entire life, I've just drifted around mindlessly, fufilling my most selfish of needs. I was shallow and proud, a true Crane. One who didn't care about anything or anyone but myself. Then, I came to Harmony and I met you and everything changed. I wante dot be a better man simply because you needed me to be. It wasn't just your breauty that got to me, although even now your breathtakingly beautiful. No, it was your vunerbility, an innocence that you had about you that you seemed to never let go. And even as my family continued to screw you over, even as you grew older and stonger with the more adversity you faced, you were still innocent and I loved that about you. I though that innocence made you weak and I found myself vowing to protect you.

And that scared the hell out of me. I didn't understand how one person could make such a drastic change in a world so cold, my world. The closer we got, the greater my fear became. I was so afraid that if I loved you, you would lose your radiance. That if I loved you or touched you, I would mar your beauty and destroy the beautiful person you were inside and out.

I knew I couldn't escape my feeling so I tricked myself, allowed my feeling to mutate into something else. I fooled myself into thinking it was Whitney I loved and after awhile, I really started to believe it. It was my fear that drove me away from you. It was my fear that brought you to your actions and for that, I'll never forgive myself. Even now, as I sit beside my bed, I am still afraid. If you die tonight, I know nothing in the world will ever be right. I don't want to live in a world where I once knew your warmth and am forced to live in the wake of knowing what I had and driving it to die. I CAN'T live without you because I'm afraid of what I'll become without you.

But you are fearless, or atleast now you need to be. You are my inspiration and because of you I am fighting away all my fear. You have risen to each occasion that has confronted you and overcame it, against sometimes staggering odds. You have survived everything that has ever crossed you. Theresa, I don't know a person stronger than you.. I don't know a person that I love with more of me. You have to live Theresa, because without you, I'll die.

**Sometimes you need a second chance, only because you weren't ready for the first one.**

I'm not afraid anymore.

Please, live.

Fox.


	4. In a World Full of Darkness

"Dr. Russell... here's Miss Lopez-Fitzgeralds chart. She's still catonic."

"Thank you Nurse. "

"Do you want me to wake Mr. Crane? Visiting hours are over now."

A pause ensued, in which the muffled scratch of a pen against paper was heard and then,"No. Mr. Crane has my blessing to stay here undisturbed past visiting hours. "

"Yes, Dr. Russell. "

The sound of two pairs of orthepedic soals shuffling across the lineolum resonated and then the door clicked shut. The words of the nurses and doctor's who had been continuously hovering above her for the past few weeks barely registered with the ill young woman. She was far to medicated and ill to complete full thoughts, completley unable to muster enough strength to pull her self from the medicinal induced coma. Until now.

The deciding turn in her condition came in the middle of her first week of comatose, the moment when the darkness turned a fuzzy shade of gray. The second thing that alerted her to a change in her condition was the pain. Incomprhensible amounts of pain that shot through her head like a hundred angry men stabbing continuously at her cranium. Theresa knew that if she had use of her limbs, she would be writhing and gyrating, screaming with the pain that was pulsating through her mind. But she was helpless. She was a prisoner of her own mind.

But today, Theresa could feel that everything was about to change. Today, when the pain that Theresa was experincing was so much greater than it had ever been. Theresa felt her subconcious send messages to her limbs to twitch with pain and to her shock, they did. She twitched and gyrated in all directions, body writhing with the pain pulsating through her veins. She gasped in shock and then did it again, completley floored to find that she could use her voice again.

Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald focused all her energy and willpower on one motion, the motion of opening her eyes. She struggled and struggled, never relenting her focus. She breathed a deep sigh of relief as she slowly felt them flutter open and saw the dim white washed walls of the hospital materalizing around her. Her eyes watered and she felt warm tears slipping down her face as she tried to bring the world around her into focus. After a couple of minutes, it happened. The hospital room became clear, the lights bright and the images focused.

Slowly, with two steadying hands placed on either side of her petite frame, she hoisted herself into an upright position and attempted to take in all her surroundings. She raised her small hands to her face and stared at her palms, taking in every line and crevice, never as greatful as that moment to be able to see them again. Another waning glance was cast around the room, as she noted the closed door that led out into the ER, the countless vases of flowers at the foot of her bed. She noticed the crisp white enevlope that was carefully propped onto the vase next to her and her heart caught in her chest as she reached towards it, clasping her eyes shut tight as her pallid fingers clutched the edge of the letter.

She felt her entire body begin to shake as she read the words, oblivous to the fact that the tears had seduced her now. Every word that Fox had writen rang out in her mind and she was utterly speechless, blown away by the fact that he could open up to someone, that he could admit his mistakes and want a life with her. She thrust the letter towards her chest, holding it against her heart as it pounded against her chest, making her head light with the adrenaline through her veins. He loved her. He really loved her and he had saved her. He would be her hero for life and nothing would ever come between them again.

Theresa allowed her eyes to wander to her left at the hunched sleeping form of Fox Crane in the chair beside her bed. His head was propped up on one arm and the other hung limply over the arm rest. His tanned skin was more pale with usual, making Theresa think that he had spent an unknown amount of time inside. His cheeks were hallowed and defined, more than usual and his deep brown eyes were disfigured with horrible black circles, definite signs of sleep deprivation. It broke Theresa's heart to see him looking like this, so dishelved and broken, but no matter how bad he looked, she couldn't tear her eyes away from him.

After a few minutes, he slowly flitted back into the world of the concious and felt a pair of eyes burning into him. He grunted and rubbed his eyes groggily, raising his arm above his head and opening his eyes with a yawn. He stopped mid-stretch and took in the sight of the woman sitting in front of him. He saw her tear-stained cheeks, saw his letter clutched against her chest. He could almost feel her body shake as if she were pressed against him already and he longed to end the distance between them.

He slipped from his chair, allowing his feet to end the distance as he gathered Theresa upon in his arms and slowly guided her back down towards the hospital bed, swinging his own feet over the edge and resting his head against the pillows. Her head rested against his chest, one palm clutching his shoulders protectivley. Her body still shook against his and Fox stroked her silken locks, soothing her with carefully chosen words spoken into her hair. Everything in his world was okay again because Theresa had come back to him. She had fought to come back to him and they had won out against all odds. 

"F-F-Fox.. "Theresa sobbed against his chest. "I can hear your heart. You're really here. "

Fox shut his eyes and nodded, clutching Theresa closer to him and promising to never let her go again.

"It beats because I'm alive again Theresa. "He purred. "You've come back to me. "

That night, Theresa fell asleep in Fox's arms but Fox didn't sleep. His hands shook violently as every hour he reached towards her neck and felt for the pulse beneath her skin.

"I'm never letting a moment go by again where I don't know if your okay. If it means I have to stop breathing to do it, you'll never be endager again Theresa. I promise you. In a world full of darkness, I'll save you over and over because I love you. I love you and I will forever. "

** A/N- REVIEW! **


	5. Mama and Papa

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

"Theresa honey, I need you to push now, okay? "Dr. Russell adviced from the foot of Theresa's bed. Theresa screamed in agony as she felt her insides twisty and writhing inside of her, trying to force herself to push the child out of her and into the doctors arms. Her face was contorted in pain, eyebrows knitted together and forehead wrinkled. From her side, Fox watched in awe and squeezed Theresa's hand softly, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb and pushing the hair that was sticking to her sweaty face out of her eyes.

"Theresa! C'mon you can do this! "

"THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! "Theresa bellowed as she prepared herself to push once again. "You're not the one popping out this god damn kids! "

Fox fought the urge to chuckle at her outburst and just watched and waited for these babies to be born, still marvelling at the fact that she had chosen him above all the other people waiting in the waiting room to help her with her birth. Neither Ethan nor Gwen, Whitney nor Chad.. no. She had chosen Fox to help her overcome the pain and to watch her give birth to two, hopefully healthy twins.

"Theresa, just one more okay? "Dr. Russell told Theresa. Theresa nodded and took a steadying breath, sucking it deep within her chest and pushing with all of her might, focusing every inch of her being on getting those kids out of her. Pain, inchomphrensible amounts of pain coursed throughout her limbs and she was momentarily reminded of her attempted suicide not long ago. She cried out, her voice loud and terryfing against the hustle and bustle of the hospital room and Fox stared down at her, frightened by the howl she had just released. And finally, through all the pain she had experinced, all the screams she had screamed, it was all worth it. She relaxed, slipping backwards onto the bed, her head resting finally against the soft linen of her pillow.

"Oh my.. "Theresa breathed, trying desperatley to catch her breath. " Oh god, I'm done right? "

"Yeah Theresa! "Fox said happily, dark brown eyes wide with wonder as Eve lifted one of the babies through the air and slowly placed into Theresa's awaiting arms. The nurse followed suit, but seeing as Theresa was already occupied, she motioned for Fox to open her arms so she could place the bundled up baby in the security of his muscular arms.

" Aw. "The nurse cooed at Fox with a warm smile. "She's Daddy's little girl already. " 

Fox found himself a little startled by her words and wondered to himself exactly why he felt such a strong connection towards the little girl secure and safe within the folds of his embrace. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her as he shook his head softly in the form of protest.

"S-sh-... I'm not the father. "He stuttered. Theresa eyes slowly flitted up from her second son huddled in her arms and to Fox, hearing a twinge of sadness in his voice as he voiced the fact to the nurse. Her eyes went wide as she surveyed Fox, superemly surprised that Fox seemed to have such deep caring for a child that she knew couldn't be his. Theresa found herself wishing that these babies were Fox's, wishing she could take back those moments when she had been unfaithful to Fox and slept with Ethan in attempt to get her son back.

"Theresa... "Dr. Russell said sadly, pulling her thoughts away from her fantasies and back towards the doctor who had just delievered her babies. When her eyes hit the doctor, they automatically flitted to the left, where a smiling Ethan and Gwen stood in the doorway. "... It's time to give Gwen and Ethan their children. "

"N-no... Oh god. "Theresa moaned as her eyes set down upon the smiling forms of Gwen and Ethan. Smiling.. smiling because they had come to take her children from her arms. Smiling sick and contorted smiles; only smiling because they were causing her pain. Theresa tightened her grip on the baby boy cradled in her arms and gulped, shaking her head viciously. "No. "

"What do you mean no? "Gwen replied indignantly, taking a step forward. Ethan grabbed at her wrist but she shook him off and took another step forward. Theresa and Gwen locked gazes, two utter enemies in their final knock down, drag out battle. They'd infilicted so much pain on one another; both physical and emotional. But it had come down to the final fight; two mothers fighting for their children. " Theresa, give me my children! "

"I said no! "Theresa shouted with another shake of her head. " These children aren't yours. They are mine.. I've had them inside of me for nine months and twelve days! I've nutured them and I've cared for them. You haven't done any of that Gwen... it was all me! You can't take my children from me. "

" I haven't done any of that because you took that right away from me! " 

"No! You took it away from yourself. You didn't care that you were carrying a child when you came after me... you wanted to kill me and you didn't care what the costs were. You killed Sarah, Gwen... not me. "

"Theresa, you're out of line. "Ethan attempted to interrupt.

" You bitch! "Gwen cried, flying at Theresa and wrapping her arms around Theresa's neck, oblivious to the fact that the baby in Theresa's arms was now wailing his heart out. Fox took a step forward and removed the baby from Theresa's arms handing it over to Eve and then handing the other baby he had been holding to the nurse. He struggled for a moment before prying a kicking and screaming Gwen from Theresa's now nearly limp body.

"Gwen! Get the hell off of her okay! "Fox yelled as he set Gwen on her feet and stepped inbetween her and Theresa. Gwen heaved a great gasping sigh and nodded, whirling around on her heel and grabbing the baby from Eve's arms. Ethan followed suit, a little reluctantly taking the baby from the outstretched arms of the nurse.

"You stay the hell away from me and my children you bitch. "Gwen seethed as she opened the door of the hospital room and stepped out into the hallway. Theresa cried out, ripping the covers off of her and stumbling out of her bed, pushing past Fox. She teetered towards the door and pressed her head against the glass, watching Gwen walk triumphantly away with her children. Agony ripped through her heart, a pain unknown to any phsyical or emotional pain she had ever known before. She was a mother in mourning for the loss of children she had never known.

"NO! "Theresa bellowed as she banged her fist hard against the glass of her hospital room door. Under the force of her hand the fragile glass shattered, tearing the skin on Theresa's hands into pieces of jagged flesh. She cried out again and turned around to face those still assembled in the hospital room.

"My babies. "She whispered. "Fox.. She took my babies! "

Her body slackened and she slid down the door like a piece of undercooked spaghetti, coming to rest in a heap on the floor. After the initial shock of her reaction wore off, Fox dropped to his knees beside her and lay her head in his lap, softly stroking her hair.

"Don't worry Theresa. "Fox whispered, bending close and speaking into Theresa's ear as she sobbed into his pant leg. "I'll make them pay. It'll all be over soon. "

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** A/N - That's all you get for now. =) **

**What did you think? Btw, I'd just like to thank all the amazing readers from here and the Daily Grind at Ruth and Angie's Message board for all their support. You guys keep me writing. **


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